Are You Emotionally Abused? Questions for Women in Heterosexual Relationships

Are You Emotionally Abused? Questions for Women in Heterosexual Relationships

Many women find that emotional abuse is difficult to name or even talk about. They often wonder if it is serious because you cannot see it, like bruises or broken bones. Emotionally abused women state that one of the biggest problems they face is that others seldom take it seriously. These questions will help you identify if you are being emotionally abused, and provide some ideas on what you can do about it.

What is your relationship like?

• Do you feel that something is wrong with your relationship, but you don't know how to describe it?
• Do you feel that your partner controls your life?
• Do you feel that your partner does not value your thoughts or feelings?
• Will your partner do anything to win an argument, such as put you down, threaten or intimidate you?
• Does your partner get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
• Do you feel that you cannot do anything right in your partner's eyes?
• Do you get mixed messages, such as the reason you are abused is because he loves you?
• Are you told that no one else would want you, or that you are lucky your partner takes care of you?
• Do you have to account for every moment of your time?
• When you try to talk to your partner about problems, are you called names such as bitch or nag?
• Are you prevented from going to work or school, or from learning English?
• Does your partner threaten to withdraw your sponsorship or send you back to your country of origin?
• If you wish to spend money, does your partner make you account for every penny, or say you don't deserve anything?
• After an argument, does your partner insist that you have sex as a way to make up?
• Does he use the children against you in arguments? Does your partner threaten that you will never see the children again if you leave?
• Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?

How are you affected?

• Are you unable or afraid to make decisions for yourself?
• Do you do anything you can to please your partner or not upset him?
• Do you make excuses for your partner's behaviour?
• Are you forgetful, confused or unable to concentrate?
• Have you noticed changes in your eating, sleeping, alcohol or drug use?
• Have you lost interest or energy to do the things you used to?
• Do you feel sick, anxious, tired or depressed a lot of the time?
• Have you lost contact with your friends, family or neighbours?
• Have you lost self-confidence and feel afraid that you could not make it alone?

What can you do about it?

• Realize that emotional abuse is a serious problem and you can get help.
• Recognize that emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical abuse.
• Take your own safety and the safety of your children seriously.
• Know that emotional abuse can lead to physical violence or death.
• Know that you are not to blame for your partner's abusive behaviour.
• Find people to talk to that can support you. Consider going for counselling.
• Do not give up if community professionals are not helpful. Keep looking for someone that will listen to you and take emotional abuse seriously.
• Recognize that you have the right to make your own decisions, in your own time, and that dealing with any form of abuse may take time.
• Trust yourself and your own experiences. Believe in your own strengths. Remember that you are your own best source of knowledge and strength, and that you already have the tools you need to survive.

Where can you turn to?

• Women's help lines are for you too. Find the number in the front of your phone book.
• Shelters do accept women who are emotionally abused and have not been physically abused. The help line can refer you to the one nearest you. Use the Bell Relay Service if they do not have a TTY. If you have a disability, ask where there is an accessible shelter in your area.
• If you have been threatened with harm or death, or are being stalked (followed and harassed) by your partner or ex-partner, you can call the police. Dial 911, or if you are in a rural area, find out the emergency number.

Source: http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/emotional_abuse.html

(I highlighted what applies to me)

SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions in the table below. The more "yes" answers, the more likely it is that you're in an abusive relationship.

SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings	Your Partner's Belittling Behavior
Do you: feel afraid of your partner much of the time? avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? feel that you can't do anything right for your partner? believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? wonder if you're the one who is crazy? feel emotionally numb or helpless?	Does your partner: humiliate, criticize, or yell at you? treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? blame you for his own abusive behavior? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner's Violent Behavior or Threats	Your Partner's Controlling Behavior
Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper? hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? threaten to take your children away or harm them? threaten to commit suicide if you leave? force you to have sex? destroy your belongings?	Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive? control where you go or what you do? keep you from seeing your friends or family? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? constantly check up on you?

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

POS

DAM THING WON'T LET ME SIGN IN WITHOUT RESETTING PASSWORD!!

WTH??

Stupid Blogger won't let me sign in!

I have to request password to get on!

Thank you

Thank you for spreading rumors about me.

It made it easier for me to tell dad about the divorce.

More on dad

I could've sworn that I updated this more recently than that.

Dad went home on the 31st. He's weaker but doing OK.

Update on dad

Let's see, the last update was before the 4th.

After dad's fall, they admitted him to the hospital, couldn't find any medical reason to keep him there so the released him Monday night, July 2nd. He got home @ 8:00 p.m.

By 8:00 p.m. Tuesday, I had to call 911 AGAIN!!!! The visiting nurse came in @9 a.m. & he just sort-of collapsed coming out of the bathroom--yes, again but not a bad fall this time and at least she was there to help him. She got him back to his chair and he seemed ok. Then around 1 p.m. the physical therapist came and he could barely move. She got him to his bed which is less than 10 feet away from the chair, but he couldn't do anything. Then @4, his CMT came and she can usually get him up but she couldn't budge him. He just kept falling asleep.

So mom called me to come over & hubby kids & I went. Steve (BIL) was there when I got in and dad was just sort of grunting. His right side was constricted and his left side was twitching wildly. So I called 911 again. He just kept saying he was dying--which he's never said.

They took him to the ER and we got there right away and he was just lying on the gurney--hadn't even been checked yet!!! The nurse came the the doctor--who was cute but useless--and they couldn't find anything wrong but they sent him down for an x-ray or ultrasound and when he got back, he looked like he was sleeping, just snoring away.

I wanted to wake him up but hubby kept saying to let him sleep! But I wasn't going to do that! So I just kept yelling & shaking him but he wouldn't wake up! I opened his eyelids and his eyes were rolled up and his pupils were fixed. So we got the nurse and she checked the got the dr and he checked. Dr said that this wasn't good--WELL DUH!! Then he just starts talking like that's it, he's dead. Asked about living will, etc.

I sat down next to dad and held his right hand and rubbed his arm and just kept talking to him. I sat there for over an hour,just talking and calling him. Mom was sitting in a chairm just in shock, very out of it and my sister was sitting next to her, crying. My BIL was trying to get her to talk to him in case he was going, but she just couldn't. :(

So she wanted to go outside & I went with her. It was pouring rain but we were in a covered alcove where the ambulances come. We were there for @10 minutes when hubby came running out saying that he was awake!!

So they sent him to the ECC, which is one step below the ICU. He was there for 2 days, then they transferred him to a regular room. After numerous tests and STILL no explanation, they transferred him to Marianjoy Rehabilitation hospital on the 10th.

This place is phenominal! They already have him up & eating and are working him daily, which is great since he was flat on his back for 3 days while he was in the hospital. Our dr says that she doesn't expect that he'll recover to where he was before all of this happened, but she does see him coming home with help.

Back to Friday June 29th, mom & I were visiting so she asked him why he thought he was dying. He said that he saw his parents and started naming other old friends who've passed. Then he said that he heard me calling him and that if it wasn't for me, he'd have been gone!

He has since told me that several times. :D He called me 5 times to wish me a happy birthday on Monday--sang to me. :D And just keeps telling me that he heard me calling him.

So when he got to Marianjoy, he asked where I wanted to go to my bday dinner. I said I wanted to go to the club & we'll all go when he gets out. :)

Today was a beautiful day when mom, Ariel & I visited--Aaron was at Sylvan--so we wheeled him out to their enabling garden. Was very very, but lots of wasps. There was a beautiful butterfly following us while we were outside, then landed on dad's leg as Ariel was maneuvering the wheel chair around to go back to his room.

He's in good spirits. :D So much so that he wants to attend a gold outing at Cog Hill on Friday! No, not to golf! Just to visit. They said that he should be able to attend, as long as he's able.

So I think I can finally relax a little.

Dad

Dad fell this morning while trying to get to the bathroom. We were going to their house anyway to pick up my mom to go to the DMV.

When we got there, he was laying on the floor. So the four of us tried to move him to the stairs. He was like dead weight. Somehow we got him to the stairs but he couldn't get himself up. He was not acting like himself. After 45 minutes of trying, I called 911 and asked for paramedics.

Long story short, he's been admitted. They think it's an infection in his lungs since there were spots on his chest x-ray.

He's so out of it. Kept asking where he was.

I doubt he'll ever be coming back home, short of a miracle.

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

You Are 74% Passionate, 26% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love. In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust. You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?